A Bad Hair Day...er...Week...

By Skippy


CHAPTER ONE

Once upon a time there was a little itty bitty demon who worked with fire. He was really really cute, even though I am probably about to get eaten by the Kokuryuhaa for saying that. He was sho--, um, not tall, but very muscular with a shock of black hair with a starburst of white above his forehead.

----------------------------------Author’s Note-----------------------------------------
Now, I could go on and on about how cute he is, but that could be very detrimental to my health. So I think I will not do that. Instead, I will tell a story. Here is the rest of the one I started at the top of the page...
----------------------------------Author’s Note-----------------------------------------

So anyway, like I was saying, he had black hair, and it would never stay down, even with 300 lbs. of conjured mousse, not that Hiei would ever use that shit. To try to see if anything could be done, Hiei got out his rather large Makai phone book to look for a suitable hairdresser. Then he had a better idea. Besides, he didn’t really want to lug out that damn huge book. So he called in his little messenger person and told him to send word that he would hold a contest for all the hairdressers in the Makai. Whoever could subdue his hair would win, um, not getting toasted by the Kokuryuhaa. And just getting to meet the infamous youkai (who some people seemed to think was pretty cute...) was good enough for some.

So a message went out through all the Makai saying:
All demons and other beings who are able to
do anything with hair are bidden to come
and try to do *something* with the Lord
Hiei’s hair. If you succeed, he will not kill
you, and if you fail, it all depends on his
mood, and how good of a job you did...


The next day, the gates to Lord Hiei’s fortress were being flooded with youkai of all kinds: youkos, ice and fire demons, and even some fairies (well, actually there were lots of fairies there; not everyone who thought Hiei was cute was female!)
Hiei was in his dressing room, pacing and being just generally irritable (as usual). He growled at his attendants, who were trying to get him suitably dressed-
"I don’t care what I wear as long as it isn’t anything like that!!!!! He pointed to an elaborately decorated and embroidered flowing robe, which was soon thrown onto a growing pile of similar garments.
"Well, what about this?" His assistant indicated another equally flowing and elaborate outfit.
"NOOOOO!!!!! I WILL WEAR PRECISELY WHAT I ALWAYS WEAR DAMMIT!!!"
The servant cowered, nodding his agreement vigorously as he hurriedly picked out a pair of neatly pressed close fitting black pants, a semi-tight black tank top, and a thin black cloak. He laid them out at Lord Hiei’s feet and backed out of the room as fast as his youkai feet could take him.


The throng had been gathered in the huge assembly room and was happily- and noisily- chatting amongst themselves. One could hear boasting, as well as self-pitying or compliment-fishing laments.
"Oh, I’ll never make it! I’m not nearly good enough!"
"Of course you are, dear!"
"I am certainly the one Lord Hiei will pick! No one can possibly be better at styling hair than the great and astounding ------------!"
All at once there fell a great silence across the hall as the great (in character if not in stature) Lord Hiei entered the room and climbed the small stairs to the podium (actually it was a lectern- there is a difference). He had on the black outfit and a black cloak with a hood to hide the offending characteristic of the little demon.
From above it looked as though the floor had suddenly turned into quicksand as every being in the room sank to their knees.
"Get up!" growled Lord Hiei. He hated groveling...although it did give him a very nice sense of power. Everyone rose and listened attentively to what eloquent things that the great Lord might have to say.
"Hn....."
"My Lord, you must say something," whispered Hiei’s assistant.
"Hn," said Lord Hiei again.
"Ahem... ladies and gentlemen, er, gentlebeings, um, Lord Hiei wishes that one of you attempt to subdue his rather... unmanageable hair. If you do this, you will be rewarded with your life and, maybe a request, if he’s in the mood. If not, your punishment also depends on his mood- whether you get sliced or fried."
An almost imperceptible murmur rippled through the crowd as they filed out to a bunch of separate waiting rooms to wait to be called into Hiei’s special hair-dressing room.


Every half an hour or even every 5, 10 or 15 minutes the youkai could hear faint screams, shrieks... or someone shouting, "JAOH ENSATSU KEN!!!!!" and then hearing the screams. Some youkai became more and more nervous and worried about their upcoming trial. A few even became hysterical and had to be carried out of the castle screaming.


Inside Hiei’s hair dressing room, things were even more tense. And his bad temper and expectations did not help. And his hair! Oh my gods!! Was it a mess! Since the beginning of the contest people had been styling it, moussing it, hairspraying it, you name it. Some people had tried to wash out all the stuff previous (and now dead) youkai had put into it, but nothing worked. It was still unmanagable, and it was icky from gels and mousses.
Finally the day came to an end and Hiei was instantly in his shower trying to get all the invading substances out of his hair himself rather than let some incompetant youkai servant help him. About two hours before dawn, Hiei finished, his hair once more smooth and silky, though it was still sticking straight up in the air.
He got his clothes on without bothering to check what he was putting on. Black again. When he ventured out into the hall again, he was greeted by a crowd as large as the one of the day before, if not larger. Inside he shrank into himself at the thought of another day like the 1st, but he kept his face impassive. He spoke to the crowd, once more having been urged by his minister:
"Today I am going to choose who comes to do my hair. And I am thoroughly sick and tired of so many mousses and gels built up in my hair so you will all make sure that there is NOTHING in it before and after you begin...if you’re still alive... You! You’re first!"
And so the day began.... and ended.
The next day was the same, and the next. It went on for a week, until...


CHAPTER TWO

The tall silver youko looked at the small photo of Lord Hiei that had been given to everyone as they came in. He tried to think of what he could possibly do with the frighteningly wild hair. Not a thing came to mind. It could have been that he was preoccupied with staring at the fire demon’s conveniently adorable face... "But he does have completely unmanageable hair. Maybe..." the little wheels in his utterly mischievous head began turning.
"Brrrinnggg!!" The summoning bell on the wall near the door started ringing loudly and annoyingly. The youko quickly gathered up his belongings and tools for the difficult-and dangerous-task.
When he emerged from his chambers, there was a little youkai guide to take him to Lord Hiei’s chambers. After many hallways that seemed to twist and turn and go in circles but eventually got them to a different part of the palace, the youko found himself in front of an extremely elaborate yet quite tasteful door, which was opened to let him in. The silver youko felt a shiver of anticipation flash through him. The door led to an anteroom that had multiple other doors, all but one of which were as decorated as the first. The fox was directed towards the plain door, walked up to it, and knocked.


Lord Hiei was rather put out. It was almost the end of the day, and although there was considerably less crap in his hair today, he was still in a worse-than-normal mood-and he was normally in a pretty bad mood!
Someone knocked on the door-the next hairdresser. He sighed, and called out in a bored voice, "Come in."
The door opened, and his head snapped up. There stood the most beautiful being the grumpy recluse had ever seen. He had long flowing silver hair that seemed to shimmer as he moved, and a pair of glowing golden eyes gazing at him from the exquisite face. Waitaminit-where had all that come from? He was never that poetic!
Lord Hiei realized he was staring, and quickly looked away, scowling.
"All right-sink, shower head, counter..." he snapped, pointing to each object in the room for the youko to cover his embarassment.
"Oh, come on, Your Lordship, any fool could see all that just walking in here!" the youko laughed, seeming either not to know or not to care that he was putting his life on the line speaking in this manner to a very grumpy youkai.
Lord Hiei jumped at the tone-no one ever spoke to him that way-and reached for his sword to destroy this impudent fox. The blade was swiftly traveling towards the youko’s heart, when Hiei’s hand just... stopped. He just couldn’t move it any further, so he pulled back, glaring at the kitsune as if it was all his fault. The youko stared back with an impish smile on his face, as a small almost invisible vine slithered back into a crack in the wall.
"So, Lord Hiei, what did you have in mind for yourself? Do you want a businessyoukai-type hairstyle- you know, a part and all that? Or perhaps the model look--?"
"I don’t care," Hiei gritted. "Just do something so that it doesn’t look like one of those damn Ningen sparrows has been nesting in it!"
"I’ll see what I can do!" smiled the youko, making Hiei’s heart flutter as this new youkai blessed- no, cursed --it was cursed-- him with all his alleged seductive capabilities. Dammit- this stupid fox couldn’t unnerve him like that- no one unnerved this cold demon! "Oh, by the way, my name is Kurama." He smiled again.
Lord Hiei got a very determined look on his face, as if he could make the pinkish colour his face was rapidly becoming go away with pure will, and waited stiffly as the silver youko picked up a brush, examining it. Apparently it passed some sort of test, and the youko began to stroke it through the spiky black hair.


Half an hour later....
Five thousand youkai of various species and races waiting out in the huge ballroom had become very very very nervous. For there had been nary a scream, shriek, or yell from the direction of the dressing rooms the entire time since the last contestant had gone in. Either it was going exceptionally well, or he’d been killed with no sound being emitted. But in either case, something wasn’t normal.


CHAPTER THREE

::Purrrrrr:: Hiei reveled in the feel of the brush stroking through his hair, removing all remaining knots and globs of hairgel, making the spiky hair smooth and silky once again.
All throughout this treatment, he’d been thinking: Why is he doing this- everyone else had tried to style it... but this does feel nice... He was vaguely aware that he’d begun purring. But soon he started wondering what on the three planes this youko was planning on doing?
[skippy: ::evil cackle::]
"Ummm... fox... ?" Hiei murmured, part of him not wanting the unusual but soothing maneuvering to stop.
"Yes, Lord Hiei?" the fox purred sensuously.
...Lord Hiei suddenly seemed to wake up, and snapped irratably, "Are you ever going to do anything with my hair?"
"But of course, my lord." Kurama assured the little fire demon. "But first I must prepare it. Hair as delicate as yours must be properly prepared..."
"...ummm...ok..." Lord Hiei sighed contentedly. A servant let out a gasp as he observed from his position by the door this abnormal behaviour of his Master.
Hiei’s eyes opened at the extrannious sound, and shot their gaze over to the servant’s corner. Hie scowled when he realized the youkai had been in the room for the entire half hour and glared at his servant, who, although somewhat relieved at his Master’s return to relative normalcy, still shook with fear. It was, of course, perfectly natural, you understand, as well as even expected. If you did not fear Lord Hiei, you were either abnormally brave, or abnormally stupid.
"Get out," he snapped. The servant hurried to obey, and Youko Kurama smiled slyly. Hiei was coming around...no pun intended.
Firmly he pushed Hiei back in the chair and continued the soothing strokes through Hiei’s hair. When Hiei’s purring got so loud he could hardly hear his own thoughts, signifying that he was very, very relaxed, Kurama smoothly put down the brush and began using his hands instead, stroking the velvety hair and running his fingers through the strands. Gradually Kurama’s hands moved down to the shoulders, getting lower and lower until he was massaging the Koorime Lord’s back. The purring got deeper and more relaxed until suddenly-
It stopped, and Hiei’s shoulders stiffened and he spoke, half curiously and half angrily.
"What the fuck are you doing? I do NOT have hair on my back!"
Youko Kurama paused in his ministrations.
"Well, your lordship," he replied, "I must confess to you," he leaned in close, "when I saw you from the first moment, I knew..." Kurama paused mysteriously, "there was NOTHING I could do with your hair. But frankly, I like it just the way it is!" He looked sexily at the little demon.
Hiei just stared. No one had ever told him frankly what they thought of him. Because of his power and wealth-especially power-everyone had always told him he was the most powerful, or the greatest ruler, or whatever, but none had ever mentioned that they were incapable of fulfilling his orders, and because something was wrong with him, the orders could not be carried out.
But then he thought about that last sentence the youko had uttered. This beautiful...liked... him...? But no one liked him-he was always angry and grumpy, and, and, no one should like him. They should... respect him, yes, that was the word! He was respected, and powerful... and lonely.
Lord Hiei sighed, giving up to the inevitable, and murmured, "Continue, then. Do what you see fit."
The silver youko, with just as sick a mind as most of my friends, got a... calculating was the word... smile on his face as the fire demon’s words registered.

To be continued...


Note from author: Please please send me comments because my ego is sufficiently low and I'd ABSOLUTELY LOVE to get nice comments from you people. If you have constructive criticism it would be also nice; flames will be used as nightly entertainment in the form of a bonfire. Fire is gooood.... ^_^


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